Can I Just Dump Him Over The Phone?

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- I have decided that the guy I've been seeing for 3 months isn't the one for me. -BlahBlahBlah- I want to tell him in person but that means I travel -BlahBlahBlah- then I arrive, dump him and then leave. -BlahBlahBlah- Do you think its acceptable to tell him on the phone? -BlahBlahBlah- how would you prefer to be dumped after 3 months? -BlahBlahBlah- face to face conversation or phone call? He seems pretty keen on me -BlahBlahBlah- I think he might be gutted when I tell him. -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,

-BlahBlahBlah-

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Most guys would prefer that you dump them in person so they can have the chance to talk you out of it.

Dumping in person is the most polite way to do it, but it's not always the most effective.

He plays the hurt role and you find yourself leaving feeling like shit.

The whole scene increases the odds that you'll call him up once you remember WHY you impulsively jumped into a relationship with a dude whom you changed your mind about after three, bland months.

Some guys are actually really good at avoiding getting dumped. They ask you "well what ARE you looking for?"

Then you feel dumb.

Then they give you a perfectly rational description of someone who would provide what they're not providing and ask "something more like that?"

You say "Yes," even though it's been established that you're dumb and don't know what you want.

Then they go "Well baby! I didn't know you were at that level yet. I could be those things for you but I thought we were trying to move slow." Maybe they'll even tack on how they're hesitant to trust you at this point.

Suddenly you feel dumb AND ugly.

The next thing you know, you're in a month long contract to just go with the flow and see what happens "now that we both understand where we're at and what we're looking for."

If you want to put distance between you and this guy, start with distance, and do it over the phone.

Honestly, the most surefire method of dumping a guy is the silent treatment. It works best for two reasons: The first being that he has no say in the matter. The second reason it's so effective is that it's a really shitty way to burn someone and even if he really, really doesn't deserve it, your subconscious will take care of that because your ego can't handle calling itself shitty. Your brain will either convince itself that he did deserve it, or he'll do himself in by grossing you out with lovesick phone bombs.

I'm curious though, are you breaking up with this guy - after three months - because of a deal breaker like violence or substance abuse? Or, are you breaking up with him - after three months - because something about you sucks and you're impulsively, emotionally reckless?

My advice to you: If you're not putting yourself in danger then do it in person so that maybe you'll learn something that'll detour you from shitting on people in the future.